Adolescence is a period marked by emotional upheaval and impulsive behaviors, largely due to the ongoing development of the brain’s executive functions, which are not fully mature until around age 25. This immaturity in the frontal lobe, responsible for decision-making, makes teens prone to risk-taking activities such as substance abuse and poor academic performance, as their ability to control impulses, manage emotions, and plan effectively is compromised.

Addressing these challenges involves explicit teaching of executive function skills, which teens are unlikely to learn on their own. Parents often start as the external regulator of these functions, guiding their children towards internalizing necessary skills for independence. Balancing the need for autonomy with the provision of structure and positive reinforcement is crucial for teens to learn good judgment.

For those with executive function deficits, recognizing and accepting their challenges is key to avoiding risky behaviors and becoming self-reliant and organized. Developing self-advocacy skills and finding a passion can also significantly deter harmful behaviors, replacing them with positive experiences that boost self-esteem, skills development, and positive social interactions.

TAKE ACTION! 

To effectively guide teens with poor executive skills towards better decision-making and self-management, parents can adopt the following strategies:

1. Assume laziness is not the issue: Recognize that teens with executive function challenges are dealing with skill deficits, making daily tasks particularly taxing.
2. Pick your battles: Understand that your teen may struggle with certain tasks. Focus on critical skills such as meeting deadlines over perfection in tasks like room cleaning.
3. Use natural or logical consequences: Ensure consequences are directly related to behaviors. Privileges should depend on performance, and expectations should be clear and followed consistently.
4. Be willing to negotiate: Adopt a flexible approach, focusing on teaching skills and responsibility rather than winning arguments.
5. Involve others when you can: Utilize external support from tutors, teachers, or coaches to improve communication and provide additional guidance.
6. Build in verification: Implement systems to confirm tasks, like homework submissions, are completed as claimed.
7. Offer effective praise: Emphasize effort over innate intelligence to boost self-esteem and motivate continued improvement.
8. Set realistic goals: Keep expectations attainable, acknowledging that full independence may come as the teen’s executive functions mature. Consider options like a “gap” year for those not yet ready for more demanding educational settings.
9. Offer a range of opportunities: Keep options open for your teen to explore various interests until they find their passion, encouraging inspiration and ambition.